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Confidence is the best attire you can ever wear but wearing Nikola Valenti jewelry with it won't hurt you at all. Check out our new Nikola Valenti collection in Part 1 and Part 2.
Self-Acceptance
There are several elements of self-confidence and a potent one is a self-acceptance One of the biggest landmines detracting from self-confidence is comparing yourself to others. I’ve been there- I feel great about what I did… until I’ve seen what others have done. The first step is realizing that you’re comparing. The self-awareness around your thoughts and then asking what insight you can gain from it is very powerful.
2. Increasing your Awareness
Literally being aware in the moment. What is going on around you? Do you feel a burning sensation in your body? Where do you feel it? Is there an emotion associated with it? Where did that emotion arise from? Sit with yourself, ask yourself those questions. The more you know yourself the more you understand yourself and make you more confident of your thoughts and decisions.
3. Banish Negative-self talk
Negative self-talk can take many forms. It can sound grounded ("I'm not good at this, so I should avoid attempting it for my own personal safety," for example) or it's downright mean ("I can never do anything right!"). It may seem like a realistic appraisal of a situation ("I got a C on this test. I guess I'm not good at math."), only to devolve into a fear-based fantasy ("I'll never be able to go to a good college").
The musings of your inner critic may sound a lot like a critical parent or friend from your past. It can follow the path of typical cognitive distortions: catastrophizing, blaming, and the like.
Basically, negative self-talk is any inner dialogue you have with yourself that may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself and your own abilities and to reach your potential. It is any thought that diminishes your ability to make positive changes in your life or your confidence in yourself to do so. So negative self-talk can not only be stressful, but it can really stunt your success.
4. Collect Positive Evidence
Keep a track of your positive evidence. Be it for your work or even in a fight with anyone. When you feel that you are stuck you will know that you are growing through your positive evidence. This will also help you get a balanced approach to your life.
5. Focus on Gratitude
Making an active choice to be grateful opens your eyes to all the wonderful stuff you currently have going on in your life. In fact, take a moment right now and grab a pen and a piece of paper (if your computer or some other digital device happens to be closer, then that’s fine too, but I strongly recommend pen and paper… you’ll see why in a moment). Write down everything that you are grateful for today. These things can be general (“I’m grateful for my family”) or incredibly specific (“The awesome HIIT workout I did this morning”). They can be deep reflections (“I’m grateful for a spouse who loves and supports me”), or more trivial (“I’m grateful for how kickass my butt looks in these new jeans! Go me!”) It doesn’t matter! The point is to write down as many things as possible that you are grateful for right now.
Once you finish your list – I find the stopping point comes pretty naturally – it’s really hard not to sit back and go, “Wow… I have a lot to be grateful for.” And sometimes just that is enough to dial up your gratitude meter and set your course for an awesome day.
6. Become more Assertive
One of the things that being assertive does that just being nice doesn’t is that it allows us to say and do the things in our relationships that make them meaningful, rich, and more fulfilling. The best relationships are the ones where we come to each other as equals, recognizing the good and the best in the other person as well as their weaknesses and limitations. At the same time, we come into those relationships understanding our own strengths and failures. Working through those challenges and obstacles together makes our relationships meaningful. Well, you can’t do that if you just want to be nice all the time.
Becoming more assertive can give us the tools that we need to walk down those roads with the other people in our lives, to say the things we need to say and do the things we need to do that will enrich both of our lives and even, maybe, make this planet a little bit better. Assertiveness allows us to be really good and not just nice.
7. Being Physically Fit and active
In the short term, exercise has been shown to enhance our mood and influence our minds toward adopting more positive thoughts. In the long-term, physical exercise can improve our confidence by making us feel good about our physique and abilities.
According to the Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans, each individual should exercise 150 to 300 minutes per week at a moderately intense level for an allover sense of well-being. Combine strength training, cardio and flexibility-building disciplines like yoga to reap the benefits of an allover approach to fitness.
8. Establish a Good Posture
Want to know how to appear more confident? "To stand confidently, keep your legs aligned with your shoulders and your feet approximately four to six inches apart. Distribute your weight equally on both legs, keep your shoulders back—but not way back—and turn your body towards others."
When standing, imagine a string pulling your head up toward the sky. Picture a straight line existing from your earlobes through your shoulders, hip, and the middle of your ankles.
"It is a posture that projects confidence, not insecurity. You are open to the person to whom you are talking. And you can stand tall, regardless of your height."
9. Care for Yourself
Somewhere deep in our hearts, we are humans who long for support. As children, we look for it from our parents. As adults, if we care for ourselves or talk to ourselves. We build a habit of being there for us. Caring for yourself can be in the simplest form of asking questions to yourself. Are you okay? Do you need more time to calm down? Patting your back!
10. Do Something New
Trying something new can be scary, and it’s typically enough to inspire plenty of self-deprecating thoughts. A little bit of doubt is natural—particularly when you’re feeling intimidated by a new challenge. However, the key is to not let those seeds of negativity grow.
The next time you take on something new and feel overwhelmed, remind yourself that—no matter what that condescending voice in your head is trying to tell you—you’re capable of giving this thing the ol’ college try.
If you fail, you fail. But, at least you’ll be able to rest assured that you didn’t stop before you even managed to get started.
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